HIV+ 01032000: Past Worker

HIV+ 01032000: Past Worker: "I had a visit from my last social worker today. She is no longer working for Human Services. Good for her, maybe not so much for me. ..."

HIV+ 01032000: Still Blah, But I Have Videos

HIV+ 01032000: Still Blah, But I Have Videos: "The weather is still crapping out here today. Not sure how long it's going to last, but I hope it goes away soon. I feel very le..."

HIV+ 01032000: Rainy, Dreary Day

HIV+ 01032000: Rainy, Dreary Day: "I am not a fan of wet, dreary days. I pretty much despise them. They're not dark enough to really turn on the lights, but too d..."

HIV+ 01032000: Judges 2.0

HIV+ 01032000: Judges 2.0: "Yesterday I posted about my ex roomie. He was someone I used to consider a friend, a rather unfortunate one, but still a friend. &nbsp..."

HIV+ 01032000: So Called Friends

HIV+ 01032000: So Called Friends: "People face a lot of crap when they find out that they are +, or for that matter, have any other serious or potentially terminal illness. &n..."

HIV+ 01032000: Limbo

HIV+ 01032000: Limbo: "I've been a little frantic lately while I tried to get things from Social Security to turn into Human services. I was even getting to..."

HIV+ 01032000: OMG

HIV+ 01032000: OMG: "Found this pic at Sodahead & it totally fits the way I feel. Apparently the short bus got to the Social Security office ear..."

HIV+ 01032000: Still Waiting

HIV+ 01032000: Still Waiting: "I am still waiting here in Limbo for the folks at the Social Security office to send me the papers I need to send to the people at Hum..."

HIV+ 01032000: Waiting

HIV+ 01032000: Waiting: "As I've said before, I hate waiting. I suck at it. But here I am again waiting. I'm waiting for a letter from the Social Securit..."

HIV+ 01032000: Windy Day

HIV+ 01032000: Windy Day: "I was starting to feel more normal. That was until we went out to run some errands then there was the wind. If I had known how w..."

HIV+ 01032000: Revenge of the Meds

HIV+ 01032000: Revenge of the Meds: "I was prescribed Azithromycin for my sinusitis & it has helped with that. However, it seems as though I am in the 01% of the popu..."

HIV+ 01032000: Just About

HIV+ 01032000: Just About: "I took my last azithromycin today & I am starting to feel human again, not totally great, but better. This getting sick stuff is a..."

HIV+ 01032000: On The Mend

HIV+ 01032000: On The Mend: "Day 4 out of 5 for my antibiotics & I am starting to feel somewhat normal again. I'm still shaky & coughing some, but everyth..."

Old Blog

This was the original home of my blog until I noticed a mistake in the date I was using.  The new address is:

HIV+ 01032000

Hope you come by & see it

OMG Screw Up

I can not believe I didn't notice this before, I used the wrong date.  It is January 03, 2001, January 03, 2000, Correcting this shouldn't screw up to much.  I hope.

Day 3

I am now on day 3 of my 5 day antibiotic pack.  Hopefully, I will feel back to normal sometime soon.  My arms are still shaky & sore, so typing is a pain.  Since, I really don't feel all that great I'll leave everyone with someone equally wrong feeling.  Enjoy

St. Pats

It's St. Pat's but don't expect too much happy out of me.  However, it is a holiday for some & therefore I'll at least make a small posting.

Here's a shamrock for you.  I'm not that into St. Pat's but I will make my wishes.  For all you that read this I wish:

1. You have your health
2. Your burden is never too heavy
3. Your friends are loyal
4. You see it isn't too Annie-ish to hope for tomorrow
5. You have as much green beer as you can handle 

I'm stopping with a short list in honor of leprechauns, which are short.

I'll end with this toast; 

Dance as if no one were watching

Sing as if no one were listening

& live every day as if it were you last

D Day

Well the health thing bottomed out today.  Last night was pure hell, with lot's of coughing, turning, aching, fevers, more coughing, shivering, not so much on sleep. This morning I got out of bed.  That makes it sound far more deliberate than it actually was, not to mention far more coordinated.  My entire body ached & my equilibrium was shot.  

My roomie had appointments of her own today but decided it was a good idea that I go to the doctor & I didn't think that I could drive.  So I spent over an hour to be told that I am not dying but do have a nasty upper respiratory infection.  Which led me to have to wait for a script to be filled at Walmart.  The only two good things about Walmart pharmacy are the facts it's located near the door & has seating.  After having a D (doctor) day & going to hellmart, I come home & take the meds.   I fairly much pass out for about an hour & a half.  

It's getting near bed & I decided to write my entry for this day & I've come to some conclusions.

1. I hate Dr.'s offices
2. I'm grateful for my roomie driving me about
3. I hate that Dr.'s overbook appointments
4. I'm glad I got the meds
5. I hate the fact antibiotics give me diarrhea
6. I'm hopeful this crap will pass in a day or two
7. I'm tired of being tired
8. I will be ever so grateful for a good night's sleep
9. I hate the ice cream truck that blared by today
10. I am thankful things weren't worse

There I bitched & appreciated.  To all of you out there, I hope this finds you in a good place & may you all get a good night's rest.

Not With It

Still not feeling all the well. I'm better today then I was, but still not great.  I'm not sure the last time I really felt great.  That isn't something I think I've felt since long before I was +.  The night was better but the morning has been a drag with a lot of coughing & throat clearing.

We have several cats & this morning they were in full out pissy fest.   I hate the noise of a growling cat, it's like a really obnoxious alarm clock.   There was growling, hissing & in a lot of cat style hell-raising.  I could've gladly sacrificed them all to some god of health or quiet this morning.

Needless to say, my mood is questionable. So I'll stroke my inner Virgo today & make a list. This a list of thing that I am tired of this morning.

1. Squalling cats
2. Post Nasal Drip
3. Endless coughing
4. Sore ribs that came from the endless coughing
5. Local news people who like extras from a George Romero movie
6. Endless reruns due to sports shows
7. Sports shows
8. Big businesses complaining how bad they have it
9. Aflac for hiring Gilbert Gottfried & Alflac for firing Gottfried
10. Politicians of any breed, flavor or variety

There are only ten & believe I could on, but I won't.  I feel a little better.  Virgos do love their lists.  Maybe you should make a list today.  It could be things you hate, things you love, things that make you wonder WTF, or whatever you want it to be about.

Sucky Night

Every so often my body feels the need to remind me that I am not the healthiest of people.  Last night was one of those times.  I've going on about allergies lately & the awfulness of those things, but it can escalate & it did.  

Since last Thursday I've been dealing with annoying post nasal drip & allergy issues.  Saturday found me feeling none too well, but I thought all I needed was a good night's sleep.  Then a little thing that I like to call the "Time Change" happened & stole an hour of my precious sleep.  So Sunday, I drudge around like the living dead.  Again I thought if I can get a good night's sleep I'll get through this.

Hah, allergies & post nasal drip conspired with crappy weather & I woke up in the middle of the night vacillating between a shaky feverish blur to a chilly chattering mess with a severe case of the shivers.  Not to be outdone my throat decides it needs to send me into a series of coughing fits.  There goes my good night's sleep.

This morning found me at Walmart doing shopping I really didn't feel up to, but reasoned I might feel worse the next day.  My crappy physical health was assaulted by Walmart's most uninviting atmosphere of blazing white & the annoyance of socially retarded shoppers.  Sorry, if that term isn't PC but it is the most apt descriptor of those people I can use without breaking out into a stream of cuss words & various other unwelcome epithets. 

At least that is done & hopefully I can get to the business of getting past this crappy health spell I'm in at the moment.  I hope you find yourselves doing well & in good health.

Judges

We all have people in our lives who judge us & most of them probably are not in a position that we actually have to tolerate it.  Other than parents when we're younger, employers & some governmental types we really don't have to give a damn what anyone else thinks of us or our actions.  Yet, we constantly listen to them nag, judge & criticize.

The video above uses the example of gaming & having an active online life.  Yes, I said life.  I may not agree with how much some people spend invested in online activities, but it really isn't any of my business & no one is forcing me to participate.  There are people out that there who will try to shame you for gaming.  They've even developed terms for it, gamer shame or closeted gamer.  There are those that rail against Facebook & call it a stupid waste of time or outright evil.

These people gripe about anything to do with any type of gaming or online activity. Why, when these people are usually the same ones that treat football like it was sacrosanct? They go after those people who like video games & pursue more advance personal technologies.  Why?  Who knows.  The better question is why does any gamer or techie even care what these people think?

You need to realize that these people are going to gripe & judge no matter what you do.  If you quit gaming or hide your online activity you're just giving into them & allowing them to control your life.  Yes, of course there are those individuals out there who take things to far, but those people are in every walk of life.  If your significant other rags on your gaming or facebook page, then you really need to find a new significant other.  

What, you think dumping someone for bitching about your gaming is harsh.  No, no it isn't. These people will not stop with your gaming.  They will continue until they have completely rewritten your life they way they want it to be.  Then they'll probably have the nerve to dump you & say that you aren't the same person they fell for when you met.

Even if they don't continue & try to utterly recast you, they have still tried to remove something from your life that you enjoyed.  They attacked your "you time".  These people can only get away with this if you let them, so stop letting them.  Let them know that is this part of your life & it isn't going to change & if they can't handle the door is over there, use it.

We all have enough crap in our lives without someone trying to take away our past times, hobbies & de-stressers.   Even if they don't appear to be so, the people who judge & go after other people's fun time are usually miserable, selfish, & fake people.  They have no grounds to judge you.  They have no right to judge you.  If what you're doing isn't a danger to you or others, then to hell with them.  

A lot of people will try to make you feel that you shouldn't play games if you over ten years old.  They tell you to grow up already.  Where does it say that adults can't have fun?  Where does it say adults can't play games?  If there is a place out that says anything even remotely like that, then it's full of crap.  Hold onto your games, your facebooks pages or whatever else helps you get through the day.  

Happy Gaming

Happy Blogging

Happy Facebooking

Happy whatever else might just make you smile & let go of a little stress

PND

For a few days now I have been dealing the problems brought my allergens in my area.  Now I can take my allergy pills & they help quite a bit.  I can even use allergy eye drops.  Still there is one thing that these medicines do little for & that is post nasal drip. 

Take all the meds you want & drink water to you overfloweth & it still won't get rid of PND.  You're stuck drinking hot tea & sucking on cough drops or hard candies trying to get this crap out of your throat.

You can cough & hack but nothing budges.  You feel like you're about to drown in these nasal secretions.  You can't swallow or breathe very well.  Some people use nettie pots, I'm not that brave & I hate nasal sprays.  They do horrible things to my nose & throat.

So what's left?  Not much, except to tough it out & to try control your allergies.  Good luck with that.  I'm not alone in this either.  My roomie has allergy issues & so do our cats.  

Neither cats nor people with allergies are pretty.  The cats are prone to eye drainage & successions of rapid fire sneezes & utter blahs notable even for a cat.

So, here is to all those hateful little spores & pollen particles that cause allergies, going straight to hell where they can spread there specific kind of misery.  I know the pollen is needed to make plants grow.   But you'd think the plants could be a little more considerate & make their pollen hypoallergenic.

Almost Over

Well winter is almost gone & daylight saving time is on the horizon.  Am I ready for spring? Yes.  I hate the grass & all the bugs, but this winter has been a total pain.  It started weird before it even got going.  It never really felt like the holiday season this year.  Usually I'm the type to have presents bought before October, but this year I forgot to get anything until just before the holiday.  I did the typical things I do for the holidays, but it still didn't really feel like anything different.  It's like the holidays sent an imposter & took a day off themselves.

After that the real nasty cold set in for the duration.  Oklahoma got colder this year & had more snow & ice than it has had in a long time.  It was a difficult winter, things just kept going wrong.  It was some type of seasonal conspiracy.

I don't have a lot to say today, but I do want to say a farewell to the season.  Hopefully next year when it comes back it won't be such a bitch.  So, hello spring, here comes the sun, the bugs, the grass, in other words another type of hell, but this one is green.  I'm never happy.  Here's a little welcome for spring.

Then & Now

That was then & this is now.  Powerful, sometimes meaningless words.  They've been used to describe every type of situation we can get ourselves into that over time has changed in some fundamental way.  It really doesn't matter if the change was really all that earth shattering, only that it felt that way to us.  They tell us that hindsight is 20/20.  I don't think so.

I've found a blog site & contest, that has pictures of people repeating poses in pictures taken long ago.  It's a fun site, check it out.  Even though some of these people try very hard, the pictures are never the same.  Even if they could fit into the exact same clothes & find the right props & places, it wouldn't be the same.  That moment captured in the original picture is gone, for some, long gone.  Some of the props are lost, some of the places are now history themselves.  But, it is fun to pay homage to the past once in a while.

Back to the hindsight thing.  I used to tell myself if I could go & I would do this & that different.  Finally, I realized that there was very little I could change in my life that would seriously alter the outcome.  Maybe I wouldn't have become + when I did, but I might have at a later date.  Wishes & ought-to-be's can be really self-defeating & hurtful.  Like it or not this is the proverbial world we live in & time for that matter.  We just have to deal with all those cliche cards that have been dealt to us.

I've figured out five things I'd write to my past self if I could send my younger self a letter.  The first one would be to learn to let go.  I am a Virgo & I really hate change & I'm not to big a fan of surprises either.  There are so many times when I should've let go of the proverbial rope & trusted that I would land safely somewhere better.  This was the time in my life when I should've said, " I am a leaf on the wind, watch me soar."  Instead I clung to hells I knew fearing the ones I didn't.

Next, I would've told myself to have some faith.  Faith in myself mostly.  Faith in my judgment & my abilities.  I let too many others tell me I couldn't do things or that things would be too hard on me.  I later learned that I could do those things even if they weren't the easiest things in the world to do. I could've stayed in math when I was younger.  I could've got a slightly harder job to get me through.  There are simply too many I could haves to count.

Try a little harder would've been my next bit of advice,  I skated through life & school.  I never really tried at anything.  I'd never seen anyone in my life try to do anything except con people & take griping to an art form. I could've pushed & been a much better student, artist & yes a person.  I'm not trying put myself down, but I really have no idea what I could've done with my life, because I never really tried.

No is not such a bad word, would be my next nugget of self-directed wisdom.  I used to hate to hear the word "No".  I took it as a rejection, a judgement, a criticism...  All these negative things were invariably pointed my direction.  I hated to say no to people almost as much as I hated hearing it myself.  This got me in a lot of sticky situations.  I finally realized something about the word no, it was powerful & empowering.  It was liberating & sometimes quite kind.  There are times we should be told no & others when that no is actually a not now, but maybe later.

I have come to believe in the idea of bad luck being good & good luck being bad.  My talent for learning was actually not as much a blessing as I had thought it was when I was younger.  Because of it I never pushed myself.  Maybe if learning had been more difficult for me I would've valued it & my accomplishments a bit more.  Some people should not win the lottery, all that $ may seem like a blessing, but for many it will actually turn out to be far more of a burden. Luck or fortune are pretty ambivalent.  You may think you've just hit the jackpot, but you have no idea what's around the bin.  Fortune is largely in one's perspective & willingness to thankful.

The last thing I would tell myself is to hold on to myself & my dreams, but not to be afraid to let them change & grow as I did.  So many of us get stuck in these ideas we create for ourselves when were young, that we can't see that those are no longer our dreams.  That those goals were unrealistic or potentially even harmful.  Our dreams are alive & must grow with us or else they'll just hold us back in a time that no longer exists.  We can't be like the Carl from UP, our dreams must evolve.

That is the advice I would give my younger self if I could.  What would you tell your younger self?

Letting Go

I am a Virgo, therefore a creature of habit.  I am the person that stayed at the crappy job way too long, simply because I was used to it.  I am the person that stayed involved with someone just because the situation was familiar like an old shoe.  I get into habits, like what I want to eat, when I do this or that or what I watch on TV.  I've been coming to terms with that last one lately.  I have decided that Mondays nights suck for TV, at least for me, unless I go to serious rerun land.  

 

I've been watching House for years & up until the last two seasons I've found it fairly fun.  Harry's Law was something new by David E. Kelly who I usually like.  Chicago Code, well it was on in between so I tried to watch it.

Chicago Code turned out to be a show entirely built on stereotypes & stock imagery, boring & loud.  BTW, making something loud, doesn't make it less boring, it just ups to the annoyance factor.  Harry's Law started out promising.  I love the characters, but there really isn't any story.  It's more like a lot of bad Saturday Night Live skits & dramatic improv sewn together.  Maybe season two will be better, i'm willing to look back at later if it makes it to a second season.

Now House is the problem for me.  It has become a habit, comfortable & expected.  Lately though they have slaughtered my show with poorly written slop.  There are tons of places to catch up with what's going on with the show if you don't watch it, so I won't recap.  The point is that one of my fav shows is going down the tube & I have to decide will I commit to watching the death throws or will I make like a rat & abandon ship.  Before, I would've stayed loyal & complained all the way.  Now, I'm not so sure.  I'm willing to give the show a chance to dig itself out of the steaming pile they've buried themselves in, but not too much of one.  

This may not sound like much of a revelation to you, but for me it is.  It's another place in my life where I can take out the proverbial trash.  I am not willing to watch shows that I really don't like. If I feel compelled to look at it, I will do so online where I can fast forward through the crap scenes.  I hope House improves, but if it doesn't it won't be the end of the world.  It's just a TV show & no longer that good of one.  My life won't end if I break this habit.  Hell, it'll probably just make room for me to get a new one.  See that's the thing we habitual folks may trade habits but we rarely, if ever, entirely get rid of them.  

Seems like my Monday nights may soon be open, maybe I'll catch up on my Netflix list or something else I need to do, who knows.  

Our Taste For The Questionable

Everyday in the news we are shown how badly people can act.  It isn't that other people don't act well, it's just that on the whole we really don't care about people who arent' misbehaving.

Charlie Sheen is a prime example.  He's partied some hard for so long that he's lost his looks & his teeth.  Now he looks more like this.

Charlie had a lot going for him & still he opted for some seriouslly poor choices. I"m not trying to judge him.  I don't know what's going on in his life, but I will say this type of a behavior is unacceptable for man who has children.  Sadly, as bad as the behavior might be, it's perfect for getting all the wrong kinds of attention.

Between 24 hour news, online tabloids, Twitter & Facebook we now have the ability to know way too much about other people's lives far easier & quicker than we ever did before this age of  twitter hounds.  

Paris Hilton, Briney Spears, Lindsey Lohan & a host of other fallen stars & celebutantes are fodder for the news & our sick desire to see people fall in demoralizing ball of flames.  I don't blame any of the tabloid websites or TV shows.  It's not there fault.  This is a business & we as a people have been willing to pay the seedy side of life for centuries.  As long as people care what this star did to that one in bed, what drugs that singer did with this model's husband or any other garbage being displayed by some sort of celebrity then this business will be profitable & in this economy, any way to make a buck is better than none.

People gripe about this all the time.  They say they don't like this behavior or these actions taken by people they usually have absolutely no association with at all.  If they really don't like it, then they should stop paying to see it, stop buying the magazines or stop supporting the advertisers that supports these shows or publications.  You as a consumer hold the purse strings & you can cut these people off.  Take away the $ & you take away the interest to produce these materials.  

Do I think that will ever happen?  No. This will never happen because most people are actually pretty base & enjoy the perverse as long as it's not too near them.  It's their spectacle, their circus & they're nothing more than a immoral mob waiting to see the next car wreck.  As long it doesn't affect them personally they'll cheer it on & call for more, more sex. more drugs, more blood, etc...  The media is the coliseum of the modern world & the people shown are little more than would-be social gladiators getting thrown to the lions.

Not Much To Say

I don't have much to say today, so I'll change course.  Maybe I'll say some things about you.  That might prove difficult since I can't tell who you are without a lot of unnecessary cyber snooping.  But I can tell that have access to a computer, that you can surf the web & that you can most likely read.  Past that, it's all a guessing game.  I don't know if you're male or female, old or young or perhaps the person that will read this blog & decide it's genius & make me rich & famous.

Cyber space has a wonderful way for letting most of us remain faceless, nameless & carefree. Some of us choose to announce ourselves, but even that could be a pretense.  Nothing can be taken as a given on this medium of life.  Instead everything has to be accepted as only partially likely to be accurate or real.

If you're reading this or any blog, you are probably curious or bored & need something to distract you.  I hope this entry was a simple enough prop to occupy your time for a little while.  If not, on to the next one. Blogs, Youtube & Wikipedia are like Wonderland to me.  I start with one & then jump on another link to this one & that one.  Before I know it, I've jumped down so many rabbit holes & the like that I have no idea as to how I actually came upon whatever it is I am reading.

Since I can't tell you much about yourself or how you got here, I will simply make a wish for you this day.  I hope that at least once today you smile.  It doesn't have to be some toothy grin or even a sideways smirk, just a genuine smile.  Sometimes we let so much pile up on us that we forget to smile. We forget to laugh.  We simply forget to be us & enjoy our lives.  So I'll leave you with something that makes me laugh.

Critics

I went to see the movie pictured above yesterday.  Was it a wonderful?  No, but it was a solid B or four out of five.  The premise of the movie, which is based on the novel of the same name, isn't all that original but what movie is these days?  Rottentomatoes.com give a 30 out of a 100 while the viewers gave it a low 70.  Yahoo movies  showed that the critics gave it a C- while the audience gave it an A-.  Netflix gave it the closest to the people with a 3.9 out of five.  

My point here isn't to hit all the movie review sites, but to point out that you need to check things out for yourself.  Netflix, generally gets my tastes fairly closely, sometimes they throw me a weird one, but most often they get it.  They should I've rated 1000's of moves there.  I've written an entry about this before, yet it seemed to bear repeating.  

I go to the movie almost 45 minutes before the film started.  I got my seat & I was thankful I'd come so early.  Within ten minutes the place was packed, I couldn't see a single empty seat.  That doesn't happen around here very often.  The crowd was ready & then the Screenvision started doing its bit. The little robot announced that a small segment of Justin Beiber was going to be on next after some trivia.  I readied myself to be annoyed, because I was surrounded by young girls, who reputedly all insanely love the Beiber.

I guess the girls in my area didn't get the memo.  They didn't react, other than to seemed annoyed something was delaying their movie.  Either the hype on Justin is just that hype or his appeal is starting to fade.  Yet, I had made a judgement based on the words of others I had heard on TV or read on the net.  Guess what, in at least this case those reports of Mr. Beibers popularity were greatly overstated.

My point is simple, too many of us allow others to make our minds up for us.  We let them sway our decisions with their words, their performances & commercials.  They alter our perception about political issues, movies, celebrities & a host of other things.  In a nutshell the Thomas Theorem states that perception is reality.  If that is the case, then if one can alter perception, then one can alter reality.  These spin doctors, critics & similiar ne'er-do-wells are powerful beasts.

However, it is a power given to them, by us & it is a power we can take back.  It's time to realize these people who do this spin-doctoring for whatever they are pushing are nothing more than salesmen.  They want you, to want something.  Plain & simple they are manipulating you.  It's hard to avoid their influence, but to quote Bear Grylls, "There is a way."  You have to stayed informed & refuse to act  on anyone else's information other than your own.  It takes time & effort not to be led like cattle to slaughterhouse by these people.

Open your eyes & pay attention.  You may be surprised what you can see, learn & experience if you don't let others make up your mind for you.

Enemy

When you're +, especially when you're on the meds, you become an expert on digestional discomfort & intestinal distress.  That translates to having gas, diarrhea, bloating, cramps, nausea, dizziness, sour stomach & a whole host of other similar issues Tums & Pepto never even mentioned in their commercials.  This leaves you constantly on the look out for things you can use to settle your stomach, things you can incorporate into your diet to ease the intestinal passage.

High fiber foods do help but have issues of their own.  Watching out for too many fried foods or food too high in sugars will also be beneficial.  But then came the Enemy's spin doctor & her name is Jamie Lee Curtis.

Jamie Lee wouldn't lie to me.  After all she saved us so many times from the evil that was Michael Myers.  But lie to us is exactly what she did.  She laughed all the way to the bank wearing her red devil outfit.

She pushed her snake oil on us & laughed, laughed I say.  What snake oil you ask, well let me show you.

Activia promises you a better digestion in just 14 days, hah. By that time I think I would've been dead.  This product gave me some of the worse stomach problems I've ever had.  I thought I'd gotten some stomach virus or the flu, but that wasn't the case.  I'd eaten it for a while & the effects or pretty immediate.  I ate it midday & by that evening I found myself perched on the toilet wondering what bomb had gone off in my stomach.  

The gas, diarrhea, fever, cramps & other intestinal issues went on for a few days then stopped.  I realized I'd had forgotten to eat the Activia.  Stupid me, I thought I'm not through with the fourteen days, so I ate it again. Within hours the symptoms were back.  A couple of days later I forgot to eat it again & it was well into the next day before I remembered it all.  During this time all my digestive issues had settled down.

I got curious & googled Activia & things like "Activia gave me diarrhea".   I found an interesting site talking about just the same things me & my roomie were experiencing.  About half the people were really loving on the product, but for the other half it was pure hate.  Ever notice that arrow on the container points straight down?  Your intestines twist & turn.  Activia basically turned my digestive track into a straight from point A to Point B pipeline like the arrow shows. 

If you're brave, you can take the Activia challenge, but I wouldn't recommend it.  This has been a dreadful time for me & my digestion.  I will never eat this product again.  The weird thing is that I can eat other yogurt & be fine, just not Activia.  I don't think it's the live cultures or probiotics either.  Several different yogurts have live cultures in them.  I will eat my yogurt from time to time, but Activia, you & your devilish spokeswoman are now the ENEMY.

Homogeneity

Recently on my Facebook page I've done a couple of things with Youtube videos.  First, I did the #1 song from the week of my birth.  Then, I did commercials from each year of my life.  It was sort of weird to see the videos of the years before I could actually remember, then it turned to nostalgia for those I could recall.  But as the years advanced, I noticed one thing for both types of videos.  I won't say the older videos were better, even though I think they were, because that would be a judgement call.  I will say that there was far less diversity of videos.

I was born in 1966.  The video variety seems fine up until about the mid to late eighties, then there was a slight decline in variety.  Post 1995, there was a slope of decline so steep an Olympic skier would have found difficult to make it down.  It isn't just the ads & music that started going conformist either, check out the social movements & political agendas.  It seems that everyday brings more & more of a push for conformity in every aspect of our lives.  From what you believe in spiritually, to what music you listen & how you feel about social issues.  

Conglomerate America is largely to blame.  There used to be 100's, if not 1,00'0's, of independent radio stations.  Try finding them today.  If you have more than one locally owned & operated station of any kind, you're doing good.  The same for TV stations.  Your local news may come from your city, but there's a large possibility the people writing the stories & pulling there strings are part of a much large media empire.

This amassing of things applies to all aspects of media & most of corporate America.  Play follow the money sometimes & you'll be surprised.  Disney owns things you'd never think of, like Marvel Comics.  Then there is AOL-Time-Warner who owns DC comics.  I used to work for a software company that was affiliated loosely with Barnes & Noble.  This was in the 90's so forgive my memory if I screw up some names.  The company owned Babbages, NeoStar,  B.Daltons & some other mall stores.  All these things could be followed up the ladder to Viacom.

Over time many of the mall stores failed & folded.  That was alright for two reasons.

1. They were awful stores.
2. They were nothing more than tax write-offs for the conglomerate.

Some of the things still exist Barnes & Noble, Scribners & Babbage's evolved into GameStop.  

Each time a large business entity buys out another business it does so to bring the new entry into the fold of it's own system of conformity.  This provides them with less competition & a more streamlined approach to mediocre business practices.

People have to start realizing that homogeneity isn't the same is being perfect.  Diversity provides for options, differences of opinions & resilience. Homogeneity allows for stability & cohesion.  True, too much diversity can lead to a very chaotic situation.  But, too much homogeneity leads to stagnation.  It's like getting a satellite TV subscription & having 700+ channels.  It's like OMG where the hell do I start?  What do I watch?   In other words too much diversity.  So you make lists.  You bring some order to the plethora of channels by making lists for yourself.  List for movies, sports & often watched shows.  You edit the list to include what you want & exclude what you don't.

The key point there was that you got to edit your own list.  What if the list had already been edited?  What if out those 700+ stations only 30 different companies owned 99% of them?  What if after examination you really had only 20 stations worth of shows because these companies had mainstreamed & optimized their channels to appeal directly to lowest common denominator of the largest demographic group?  Then what?  What if you think you have 20+ radio stations on the air in you local area only to find that there all owned by three companies sharing the same playlists?

Variety hasn't left the building.  The company hogs have just made it difficult to find.  Open your eyes & look around its still there. Go to Youtube & you'll find some amazing talents.  Support the Indies no what whether they're game programmers, authors, musicians, filmmakers, software engineers, fashion designers or whatever else you can find.  It's your $ make sure you get what you want for it.  Do you want the same old, same old crap that everyone else is buying?  Or do you want  to wait & use your $ to support an artist you really like.  

If you like what's out there & you're happy as is, do nothing.   If you aren't, start looking for things that will make you happy.  Things that you will actually enjoy.  Remember, you're the consumer & you don't have to buy anything at all if you don't want to. You really do hold the power in this matter.

Two Months In

Somehow I have managed to keep this thing going for two whole months.  For someone usually as noncommittal as myself, that's fairly astounding.  So what will I ramble on about today?

I could talk about the fact that today is the anniversary of the start of the second opium war, or the day AT&T was incorporated, when the United States decided to start censoring the mail or when Carmen first played.   But none of that, besides the At&T thing, really has any direct bearing on my blog today.  What does have bearing?

Writing this blog is becoming part of my Virgoan ritual and it is an interesting way for me express whatever I'm feeling at the time to whoever might happen upon these pages.  I wondered who would read this blog in the beginning, maybe no one.  At first, that bothered me.  Then I thought that this blog is more for myself & my own outlet than anything else.  If you like my writing, then thank you for reading it.  Not to be snide, but if you don't like it, there is a next blog link at the top of the page.  Try it sometime, I do & I've found some interesting blogs.

I can't tell you what this month will bring for me, if I'm lucky the bad things will be limited. My March third won't be as exciting as being the day that Time magazine first published, a new Turkey emerged or Rodney King getting beaten by the L.A. cops.  However, in this little part of the world, this March third will be mine.   My beginning of the third month of my blog.  My beginning of Spring.  My time with my roomie & cats.  Maybe I'll win a million or go write a novel.  Maybe I'll do nothing at all.  Whatever it is that I will or won't do, it will be mine.

Maybe that sounds a little selfish, but from time to time, you just have to be.  You have to look after yourself & make sure you're getting what you need.  Today, I'll take a cue from a duck.

The News

The news isn't that great today.  Whether you're talking about the quake in New Zealand or all the strange politicians trying to wage war on women, gays & anything else that crosses their paths, the news is bleak.  It seems like the situation has been this way for a while.

It doesn't seem like there is a lot of fixing going on, just a lot of blaming.  It would seem that there was plenty of blame to hit everyone involved, but no one wants to take their fair share.  I could sit here & type about evil republicans or useless democrats, but that's been done.

I can't say I have any answers, but I can say the blame game & negativity won't solve anything.  This post will be a short one.  I'm tired & my writing would just turn to rambles if I continued.  I'll leave you with a few vids Ive liked lately.  Hope you like...

Neither Lamb Nor Lion

There's a lot of folklore about the month of March.  How it enters being the opposite of how it will end is just one.  March 1 is a day of celebrations.  Whether you call Beer Day, The First of the Year, Independence day or numerous other observations held on the day it is a time of revelry & remembrance.

March was a time of war & beginnings of new things.  It is Primavera.   I know technically Winter still holds the reins for a little while longer, but the daffodils our blooming, the clover is growing & the birds are feathering their nests.

It was a bit cold last night, but today I had the doors open & aired out the house for a while before the chill returned.  It was a clear day & after days on days of drear, the light was certainly appreciated.  I'm going on about things, but not much happened today other than pleasant weather.  For that, I am grateful.

Spring is here.  The lawn people have been called & the exterminators are soon to be contacted to nip the fleas in the bud before they can get a foothold.  With the warmth & flowers comes bugs of all types.  From the bugs & flowers comes birds.  From jays to finches, mockingbirds to robins & hummingbirds to crows they will be in the yard soon enough.  That will get the cats attention like you wouldn't believe. The cats will chase the birds, butterflies & frogs.  The yard is coming back to life.

Other than taking my meds, I really didn't think about being + today, that makes this a rare day.  I know they probably won't find a cure for HIV in my lifetime, but I'd really love it if we could get to a point when I could take my meds like once a week.  If that could happen, then maybe on most of those non-med days I could just let myself forget about being + for a while.  That would be nice.